Guardian Quiptic 729 / Orlando

A typical delight from Orlando – the clues are very straightforward as befits a Quiptic, yet carefully crafted to give smooth and witty surface readings.

Across

1 In France you rent � landlord finally instructed (7)
TUTORED
In France, ‘you’ is TU; ‘rent’ is the past tense of ‘rend’, so means TORE, and the final letter of ‘landlord’ is D: TU-TORE-D. An easy construction, but Orlando added a little spice by making you think first of a different meaning of ‘rent’ – a common and pleasing trick.

5 Saint growing old but performing dramatically (7)
STAGING
ST = Saint, and AGING (growing old): ST-AGING.

9 Organist initially changes organs (7)
OVARIES
O is the initial letter of ‘organist’, and changes = VARIES.

10 Team that’s second in sporting venue by lake (7)
ARSENAL
S is a common abbreviation for ‘second(s)’ (think of race-runners’ times, for example) and here it’s in ARENA, a sporting venue, by L for lake: AR-S-ENA-L.

11 Gambler getting away with more money (6,3)
BETTER OFF
If to bet is to gamble than a BETTER is a gambler, who here is getting away or OFF.

12 Nick is refusing to have letters on taps? (5)
NOTCH
I don’t know about your taps but the letters on mine are C and H for Cold and Hot. If you were refusing to have them, you might say ‘NOT C H!’ A NOTCH is a nick, of course – note how Orlando neatly put the definition at the front of the clue as an excuse to give it a capital letter, making it look like a name.

13 Going west in glider really was wrong (5)
ERRED
The answer, meaning ‘was wrong’, can be read going west, i.e. towards the left, in ‘gliDER REally’.

15 Put right � no longer naked? (9)
REDRESSED
The clue gives a real meaning (‘put right’) and a pretend one – redressed doesn’t really mean put clothes back on (‘re-dressed’). The ? hints that such trickery is at work.

17 Many a titled lady? About fifty! (9)
COUNTLESS
A COUNTESS is a titled lady, who is about L, the Roman numeral for 50.

19 Fibre used in optics is altered (5)
SISAL
The letters SISAL are ‘used in’ writing down ‘opticS IS ALtered’.

22 Previous head of a religious community (5)
PRIOR
Two meanings – previous = PRIOR, and a PRIOR is the head of a priory.

23 Meat and drink kept as fresh (4,5)
RUMP STEAK
Rump steak is meat, of course. Meantime RUM is a drink, and PSTEAK is a ‘fresh’ order for the letters of KEPT AS.

25 Like worshippers having bother with phone (7)
ADORING
ADO is bother, and to RING someone is to phone them.

26 Ace group performing in ditch (7)
ABANDON
A stands for Ace as any card player knows; a BAND is a group, and when they are performing they are ON. All this happens in a word meaning to ditch something or ABANDON it – yes, that kind of ‘ditch’.

27 Anaesthetics 1, 2, 3, 4 …? (7)
NUMBERS
Anaesthetics numb you, so they’re kind of NUMBERS, right? Well not quite, but as in 15ac the ? warns of the improvised meaning.

28 Generous ruddy family (7)
KINDRED
KIND (generous) RED (ruddy).

Down

1 Putin’s heart � and his dough in hot water (7)
TROUBLE
T, the heart or centre of puTin, is followed by a ROUBLE, the Russian currency – money or ‘dough’. If you’re in hot water, of course, you’re in TROUBLE.

2 One raising glass that’s used in the kitchen? (7)
TOASTER
That old trick again – if a TOASTER really meant someone TOASTing (the Queen, say) by raising their glass, the clue wouldn’t need the warning question mark.

3 Rubbish emptied in English river (5)
RHINE
If you empty RubbisH, by removing everything in the middle, you’re left with RH. So RH + IN + E (for English) gives us the river.

4 Talk that’s loose is so crude (9)
DISCOURSE
IS SO CRUDE is here ‘loose’ – so loose that the letters are in a different order.

5 Pole for the workforce (5)
STAFF
Two meanings – a pole and a workforce – neither of which has anything to do with Polish plumbers, but again putting ‘pole’ at the beginning of the clue enables it to be capitalised.

6 They’re not about to disturb a bees’ nest (9)
ABSENTEES
They’re certainly not about – ABSENTEES are absent. You can get them by disturbing (the letters of) A BEES NEST. Such a simple yet witty clue!

7 Lights that fused singe it (7)
IGNITES
If you fused (melted) the letters of SINGE IT, their order might beome a little more fluid.

8 Knight had to go after festival (7)
GALAHAD
HAD is, here, to go after a festival or GALA.

14 Fix Irish father up with fur (9)
DETERMINE
The Irish father is TED, who appears ‘up’ (reversed, in a down clue) with ERMINE fur. To fix something (the date of Easter, say) is to DETERMINE it.

16 Mad bikers frantic to get off (9)
DISEMBARK
It’s the letters of MAD BIKERS that are frantic here.

17 Officer liable to stop brother’s killer (7)
CAPTAIN
APT (‘liable’) is to ‘stop’, that is to say stop up or fill up a gap in, CAIN, the world’s first and most famous fratricide.

18 Not changing questionnaire for undergraduates? (7)
UNIFORM
The definition is ‘not changing’. And have you filled in your UNI FORM?

20 Thin line in transmitter (7)
SLENDER
L (‘line’) in SENDER or transmitter.

21 Fancy man compared (7)
LIKENED
If you LIKE someone you fancy them, and NED is a man.

23 Long time after end of winter storms (5)
RAGES
AGES (a long time) after R, the end of ‘winteR’, gives this word for storms.

24 Personal assistant entering wrong country (5)
SPAIN
A personal assistant is a P.A., who is here entering SIN (‘wrong’). Orlando has several times composed clues to mislead us about which part of speech is intended. Here we can get SIN out of ‘wrong’ whether we take it as a noun or a verb – just as long as we realise that ‘wrong’ might not be an adjective.